忍耐 + 掌握人生
Please Give Me a Hand
When I felt that tearing sensation in my left hand after that fateful taitari, my heart was shattered. The first thing that came to mind was the Australian Team selection trial. 3 weeks. That is all I've got now to make this silly hand to swing the shinai in champion fashion. Champion? I don't even dare to swing the shinai with my left hand now. Looking at the state of my left hand is like a thousand knieves stabbing into my heart. It is a tormenting thought. Why does it have to happen to me again. Why are there so many barriers to trip me over? I just want to realise my dream. The amount of effort put into getting my hand better - doing all the tasks and exercises that the doctor and physio handed down to me, and then seeing this happening again is heart-breaking. Just when I am getting so close to conquering this treacherous mountain, there, I tumbled all the way to the bottom of the unforgivingly cold and dark chasm.
I really don't know whether I can wear my kote again before rocking up to the Selection Trial. All I know is that I need to keep my body fit, my stamina and endurance up, my muscles strong. I can only hope that I could swing the shinai when I fit into that kote again.
I think I actually know what to do now. Fix up my head. Stop sulking. Get over this emotional thinking. And start doing something constructive. Keep fit and train with imagination and visualisation. Let's see if the result of my imaginative training will shine in 3 weeks time.
Next Tuesday (Mon is Queens b'day) I will have an ultrasound scan to evaluate the extent of the injury and make an appointment with the hand orthopaedic surgeon. On Wednesday, I will visit the hand physio for check-up.
Please I really need my hand back. I will do everything to take me to the World Championships!